I wanna get me some of that.

I don't think you people knew that Eng Teck thinks he's sexy.
And you KNEW I was gonna post this here. THANKS FOR THE IDEA, ITIK.

Jia Huey: Why do you wear a singlet?
Eng Teck: Coz' it makes me look sexy. So I can hide my sexy body from you all.

Tsk tsk. What a big head that boy has.

And my hair feels really soft right now coz' I just took a shower. Haha.
But how sad. It'll only last for....3 hours and it'll go all frizzy at the ends again.
Sigh.
I want my LONG, STRAIGHT hair again.

PS: YES, I had long hair. Very funny, is it?

Mirror mirror on the wall.

I want a 24 inch waist too.

DEAR YOUNGWOONG JAEJOONG.
PLEASE TELL ME THE SECRET OF OBTAINING A 24 INCH WAIST.

How the heck did that boy get a 24 inch waist? Even my waist isn't as small as that!
28 inches....My heart.

But oh my, that boy is so yummy.
I make it sound like he's a piece of chocolate cake or something.......
But I still think he's yummy.

And I still want a 24 inch waist.

I am not afraid to walk this world alone.

Hello there, my hunky piece of East Sea.

That was totally random. I just wanted a reason to post a Donghae icon that I made.
Hehe.

I'm kinda wallowing in my own self-pity right now.
Self-pity should rot in hell.

It's been nearly a year since I got out of that crap place I used to go to. Bloody ASS EM KAY BUTT FOUR. I hate you. And the people who go there.
Except for Squishy, Joanne, Pik Kei, Haan and some other people I can't think of right now.
Other than that, everyone else is a complete asshole/idiot.
Oh. I forgot about Pn. Karamjit. She rocks.

Anyway, I look back and I think to myself, wow. I am one messed up teenager.
Back in Form 2, I went through a couple of bumps and because of that, I ended up getting depressed and it dragged on until Form 3.

Fine. Laugh and say, "You? The girl who can't stop laughing like a crazy, maniacal freak? Depressed? You have got to be kidding me."
Why would I kid? I don't have any reason to. This is going to be the first time in a year, that I actually tell people what the problem was with me. That's what this blog is for right? For me to pour out my innermost thoughts and feelings.
Okay. Maybe not THAT deep. I still have my secrets.


1. Blame my insecurities.
I have never been doing well in school. My results are just what you'd call, average.
But as the dreaded PMR drew nearer, I found myself slacking more and more. I just didn't have the heart to study. I was just way too engrossed in the other things that were killing me at the time. After the trials, I just cracked after I got my results. Like, cracked cracked. Like, super cracked.

And down came the rain and washed the spider out.

Fine. So no spiders were involved. But out came the tears.
Crying all the time can really take a toll on your mental and physical state.
Anyway, lets just say that I didn't do very well in my trials. I started doubting my capabilities. I started doubting everything in my life. I hated myself for having all these doubts. But I couldn't do anything about them. They just kept coming and throwing themselves at me. That's when I started doing things to myself that I'm not proud of.
I'm over all that now. But I was really stupid for doing what I did.
Don't follow my example, kids!

2. Friends? Backstabbers are more like it.

"friend (frnd) noun.

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement. "

I've never been much of a people person. I don't get along with people easily. For as long as I can remember, I've never had a friend that I could actually trust.

I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I admit, I have attitude problems. I know it. I'm trying to change. At least I'm trying. I'm not doing a great job at it, but I'll take things at my own pace.

Friends are supposed to be there for you. To be that one single person, you can trust with all your heart and vice-versa. In my case, this is kinda impossible.
I don't know. I'm a pretty negative person. And if you didn't know, I'm the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve. I'm the kind of person who gets hurt very, very easily and I'm extremely sensitive when it comes to certain issues.

That's why I always maintain a certain facade in order to make people think that I am what they see.

Friends came. Friends left.
That's all they ever did.
And that's all they'll ever do.



As we get closer to the end of the year 2006, I realise. I've changed. I've changed for the better.
I'm stronger than I've ever been. I've gotten wiser over the past year and I'm not as gullible or naive anymore.

I may still have slight trust issues. But, I know what I'm doing. I know what I should do and what I shouldn't do.
I don't conform to the standards that society has set. I don't want to be another mindless drone that follows the latest trends or someone that just follows others. I don't want to be liked for what I'm not. I don't wanna be someone else.

I just wanna be me.

Welcome To The Black Parade.

Welcome to the Black Parade.
Someone buy the limited edition one for my birthday.

Flame on.

My arms hurt. Stupid housework.

I hate mopping the floor.

Housework is good exercise, you know. No need to go to gyms, parks or whatever! Just remain in the comfort of your own home and do housework!

Maybe I should come up with an exercise video or something. '101 WAYS TO LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT HAVING TO DIET OR EXERCISE'

First! Go buy yourself a mop. A really good one. The one that you have to squeeze REAL hard in order to get all the water out.
After that, grab a bucket and fill it with water and soap and carry it out from the bathroom to the living room/ bedroom/ wherever. That's what we call cardiovascular exercise as you're lifting weights!
Remember to always switch sides after carrying the bucket for 20 seconds.
After that, start mopping the floor.

First stage, FINSHED!

Second stage, go and wash cloths. Not small ones, mind you.
Get the big, heavy ones you use as a towel. Then, START SCRUBBING.
Sure lose that spare tyre and jelly-like arms one.

Okay. Time for a break. Now, go fold clothes and sit in front of the telly.
Damn fun one, I tell you. If not fun, you'll get your money back guaranteed.

After that short break, get back to work. Start off again by cooking.
Yes, cooking. You think don't need strength when you cook is it?
Need to chop things, then need to wash this and that, then need to run here and there getting ingredients. Tell me if you need strength?

After that, you can take another break. Go eat. Eat as much as you'd like. I don't care if you eat a donkey, an elephant or a dinosaur. Just go eat whatever you want. But, remember to wash the dishes and clean whatever that needs to be cleaned.

Okay. Excercise video done. Although it wasn't 101 steps, but whatever. Go sleep now.
End of random post of the day.
Moving on.
*******************************************************

We made pretty things out of soda lime glass during Chemistry today.
SEE!
Pretty right??????
Fine. So that's a crappy picture. I'll get better ones. Haha.
Pn. Yap says we can bend it somemore over the kitchen stove. WHEE!
I like playing with fire. Although it hurts when you get burned......Getting burned is not fun.
BUT FIRE IS STILL FUN.
OMG. I'm a pyromaniac. I wanna be like that guy from Fantastic Four.
So yeng. Say "FLAME ON" and he has flames bursting out of his hand.
And the actor is so hot too.......Like fire.

-starts singing- COME ON BABY, LIGHT MY FIRE.

AHHHH!!!

FAN GIRL POST. WARNING. APPROACH WITH CAUTION.

****************************************************My lovely boys are coming.
To promote their latest album.
Be prepared for a whole lotta crazy fangirling when they actually get here.

Painpainpainpain.

WARNING.BE PREPARED FOR COMPLETE NONSENSE.
**************************************************************

Once upon a time, there was a girl called Gnim Iy, and she was cursed.

Due to this curse, she had to suffer every month for at least a week. After that week, she'd be okay for another month until the curse struck again.
But Gnim Iy wasn't the only one who was suffering from this curse. Millions of women around the world suffered from it as well. But some suffered more than others as they had back aches and tummy aches, whereas some didn't.
It was still a curse though. And an enormous hassle.

Gnim Iy then decided that she wanted to get rid of the curse. But unfortunately, if she did that, there wouldn't be babies and if there were no babies, the world would be such a dull place and the human race would become extinct.

The end.

***************************************************

Eng Teck needs to stop talking to us girls so openly about our periods.
And he needs to tell me who he likes.

And I have to do housework for a month. T.T
My aching tummy.

I woke up in a car.

I drove a car today. I suck at braking and accelerating.

I don't think my mom will ever let me try driving again.

It was fun. I'm gonna go do it anyway.

PS:// These 2 guys make me nosebleed.

PPS:// Happy Birthday, Donghae wangjanim. =]

I forgot to add.

I forgot to add. Who does this remind you of?
*burst into peals of laughter*

CLICK PLEASE.

Prepare to be amazed by my artistic skills.

Life could get a little bit better.

I got A1 for Moral!!! NYAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
*jumps around like a hyperactive little girl*
82%!! SQUEEEE!!!

But my English only got 72%. T_T
Stupid Pn.Nurliza. Don't know how to mark my paper.

But English, Science & Technology got 86%!! Not bad weh!

Overall, I think I did quite okay this term. Although I did fail 3 subjects (not like I'm gonna take anymore), all my results improved tremendously. I'M SO HAPPY!
But average still only 58.88888888888888888%.
Still better than last term lah. Last term I only got 46% you know?
Besides. I still have Malay. Paper 2 already got 61.5%. Not bad also weh! Considering that my Malay has never been good.

happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy.

Old age catches up.

Yeah. New layout. I love me some Kim Jung Hoon!
Go watch Goong. It's so cool.

Anyway. I was just thinking about things lately as our finals have ended and our results are being pumped out like bullets from a shotgun.
Here's one of my thoughts right now.

"SHIT LAH. SURE FAIL EVERYTHING ONE. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. MY MOM'S GONNA KILL ME! AISH. DIE DIE DIE."

Very enlightening sentence. Shall I continue since I've gotten nearly half my results back?

"OH CRAP! FAIL 3 SUBJECTS LIAO. TCH. CANNOT FAIL ANYMORE. IF NOT, I REALLY DIE."

I love my one-liners.

I really don't know what to do with myself. I'm lazy and erm...lazy. Yeah. I'm just plain lazy. Studying has never been my forte. I just can't make myself sit down and read a textbook.
Storybook? No problem.
Newspaper? Piece of cake.
Textbook? Siao lang. Lu gila kah? Brain rosak then you know.

I've never been able to focus on something for a long period of time. My attention always drifts elsewhere. Like the time I had to do something....and then I started doing something else....and then...erm...Aiyah. You get the drift.

I'm starting to think that I may have a mild case of ADD. Want it in medical jargon?
I. THINK. I. HAVE. ATTENTION. DEFICIT. DISORDER.
You understand? Yes? Yes! Good.

OKAY. NEXT TOPIC.
Like monyet only. Must jump from one thing to another.

I'm no good with faces. Like for instance, today Stephanie Wong from 4 Cengal just asked me out of the blue if I lived in S*****mas when I was asking Sarah to tell me the name of a movie that starts with the letter J.
Of course lah, being the blur me, I said yes lor. Then I asked her how she knew.
Suprise suprise. She knows my Godbrother. He lives in Glenmarie! And so does she apparently. According to her, we met at a street party back in....2002. My memory so cha man. I don't even remember the people I meet.

I'm getting old. Next thing you know, you'll find me knitting sweaters for my imaginary grandkids as cute kitty cats prowl around the room scratching my lovely silk curtains.

I can't breathe.

OMG. I can't breathe right now.
Stupid haze gave me the flu. Now I have to walk around like a mouth breathing loser.
*TOOT* you, haze. Make me sick, for what ah?

Oh. And I think that Japanese meal gave me indigestion.
Never go to Shogun in 1 Utama for dinner and/or lunch.
My sister, starting puking and even my mommy, who's known as iron stomach, has a tummy ache.
If you wanna eat Japanese food, make sure you go to a hotel. Because it's FRESHER and CHEAPER. Wasted RM250 on crap food for 5 people. My mommy isn't a happy lady right now.

Doh. Maybe I should go copy Joo Yoo Rin and Seol Gong Chan from My Girl and poke my finger to cure my indigestion.
But then again, I'm afraid of needles. And you're talking to a girl who wants a tattoo and had a cartilage piercing. Pffft.

Choke me.

Forgot to add.
I hate haze. I can't see the pretty blue sky anymore.

But on the other hand, I'm not a big fan of the sun. XD
I just hate the smell right now. Bleurgh.

I'm pretty. NOT.

Beauty is only skin deep.

Pfft. Liars.
How many times has someone been treated differently just because he/she isn't good looking?
Let me tell you, society now, has this thing going on with ugly people. I mean, people who aren't "pleasant-looking" are usually subjected to insults or stares from people who have this totally different view of what beauty is supposed to be.

What is beauty, anyway? Can beauty only be shown physically? That's what a lot of people believe right now. That's why you get all those magazines pumping out "tips" on how to make yourself look like Angelina Jolie or Nicole Kidman.
Isn't one of each enough?
Wouldn't you get bored of looking at the same thing over and over and over?
I mean, there's only so much of Angelina that you can take.
Sure, she's gorgeous. But what if you were hanging out at the mall or whatever, and you see 200 people that look exactly like her? You'd get sick of it. You'd probably change your view of beauty yet again. Angelina wouldn't be voted "Worlds Sexiest Woman" anymore. Boys wouldn't drool and lust over her. Women wouldn't want to BE her anymore.

Don't deny it, lah. You know I'm telling the truth.

I admit it, I'm a hypocrite. There have been times when I just look at myself in the mirror and think, "What if I were beautiful? Would it change things? Would it make me more likeable? Would it make me a happier person?"
But at other times, I tell myself that I'm happy with how I am. My looks won't affect my personality. And that's usually what matters the most.
But then again, you have girls who are willing to take things further. They resort to plastic surgery in order to acheive what their perception of beauty is. I mean, sure! You can wanna be beautiful or whatever but don't be so stupid to waste your money and risk your health in order to achieve that!

Take a look around. Not many people care about personality anymore.
For instance, you get idiots trying to hook up with girls just for the sake of having a piece of hot ass hanging on their arm. How would you know if she's more than a pretty face? How would you know if she's just trying to get you to do things for her? How would you know if she's taking you for a sucker?
The answer is, you don't. They just enjoy parading around showing their hot girlfriends off, just to get attention from others.

But on the other hand, how would we know if the beautiful people are sick of being portrayed as just a pretty face. We don't know that either. For all we know, they might be thinking, "I wish I looked more plain. That way, I wouldn't have to deal with people who just pay attention to me because of my looks."
You can't help but think, what if they're unhappy with having what what everyone else wants?

Maybe they should subscribe to magazines that tell you how to look like a bum?

I'm holding back the tears.

Exams are finally over. Until next year then, I guess.

I failed Physics and Chemistry. I guess that was kinda predictable. I'll probably drop both subjects and take up general science. Meh. I totally give up. I predict that I'll fail Add.Maths as well.
Oh poopie.

Spent recess smacking Ian. The stupid boy kept throwing the muffin wrapper thingy into my tupperware although HE was the one who ate it. Babo dobori oppa. Then, when I asked him to throw my ice lemon tea box, he threw it into the flowerbed. Smart move. Zhi and Hwee Lynn then went all commando on him.
*SMACK!*
"GO PICK THAT UP NOW!"
*SMACK!*
"DO IT!"
"You'd better pick that up now."
*Ian scutters off to pick it up*

Hehe.

And I'm kinda pissed today too. Stupid Khairil. I don't even know you! Stop trying to start shit with me! KAY? What's your problem, man?! You've been doing nothing but pissing me off since I've been here! WHAT IS YOUR FREAKIN' PROBLEM? You wanna start a war, is it? HUH?! TALKING TO YOU AH? Bloody perasaan. Nothing better to do is it? Then go and bug someone else! I don't even know you and for some strange reason, you like starting shit with me. FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. JEEBUS.

Go bury yourself in a hole and die. Or better yet, go tie a rock to your leg and throw yourself into the ocean. Or, throw yourself into a moat filled with man-eating crocodiles.

I could just spend all day thinking of ways you can die.

Hallelujah!

Muahahaha. One more day to freedom.

Well, technically it's HALF a day, but WHOOHOO anyway.
IN YOUR FACE.


PJK paper DAMN funny lah. Who would've thought that Mr.Siva could come up with something as funny as this? Not me! You leh?
Question 23. Mengapakah setiap anggota keluarga perlu menjalankan tanggungjawab masing-masing?
A. Supaya kebahagiaan dalam sesebuah keluarga akan tercapai.
B. Supaya keluarga berpecah belah.
C. Supaya keluarga tidak harmoni.
D. Supaya ibu bapa tidak marah.

I like D. How 'bout you?

And I've finally submitted myself to Ian's pleas to play Ragnarok. I have to admit, I've always been kinda drawn to that game even if I deny it all the time. I played it on Khai Ming's computer when it first came out. But then I hardly went to his house because we only go there when he has parties. Haha. And I didn't have an internet connection when I was in Form 1. =(
There's still reasons why I wanna play it again. For one, I don't have to work during the holidays anymore as I have to catch up on my Economics. And the other reason is, I'm in love with the assassin.
DAMN YENG WEH. See for yourself if don't believe me.
Damn cool lah. Like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Except they use sharp thingys to slash you instead of guns to shoot you.

Another thing is, I've found myself listening to music I haven't listened to in MONTHS. GOSH DARNIT. Why didn't anyone tell me how much I miss MCR, A7X, Senses Fail, Something Corporate and -insert LONG list here- ???!!
Oh. You probably didn't know. OH WELL. I'M TELLING YOU NOW. If I neglect my other beloveds for something else, remind me to listen to them in order to remind me WHY I love them so much in the first place.

Get the picture? Good! Here's a plate of cookies.
Be good! If not, I'll sneak rat poison something gross into those cookies.

Moral values make you a better person.

Oh, bite me. Learning about Moral values does NOT make you a better person, FYI.
On the other hand, it makes you rude, insensitive and stuck up. Like Khai Ming said, only people with lousy moral values will be able to memorise all those nilai. I memorised a quarter. So that makes 1/4 of me bad. OH NOEZ. SOMEONE STAB ME BEFORE I TURN EVIL ALL THE WAY.

I am loving Junsu's Beautiful Thing right now. It's on repeat! Anyway, I got 68% for Accounts. Not bad lah considering that I only got 42% last term. Improve a lot liao. And Hwee Lynn's nuts. 72% tak cukup ya? Dah A2 wor. Crazy people and their need to get an A1 when they already have an A at least. And Kah Mun got 90 something I think. Aiyoh, this kind of smart people ah.

And the DBSK X-Man special is killing me. Super funny. Eh, Zhi. If you read this, here's the links.
TVXQ X-Man Intro Dance Cut
X-Man #69 Intro - Kang Ho Dong wedding announcement
X-man #69 Dangyunhaji - Jaejoong vs Changmin
X-man #69 Dangyunhaji - Yuri vs U-Know Yunho
X-man #69 Dangyunhaji - Junsu vs Yunho & Bael Sul Gil
And I have to add that Changmin, Junsu and Yoochun can't dance. Haha.

OH YAH. New SuJu layout made by interlude of SuJu FullHouse. Thanks!