Running on empty.

Listening to: Pencey Prep // Attention Reader

Smiles wane
laughter ceases to exist for
those who looked away
Tired, spent and wasted
we trudge forwards, on a path
tumultuous and perilous.
A glance
over the shoulder
as we gaze upon those whom we have
once loved so dearly
Tired, spent and wasted
Apathetic
we move on
we live.

Keep the faith.
For it is all we have.

*************

I am incomplete.
I am broken.
I am everything I never wanted me to be.

Faith and hope is all I have left.
Don't let the demons take it away from me.

How wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying.

Listening to: My Chemical Romance // Our Lady Of Sorrows

Birthday celebrations have never really been my thing since I turned 12.

The agony of having to slave over the blowing of balloons and the preparations of party packs got to me one day and I just decided that a birthday is just like any other day. My birthday wishes have taken on a rather monotonous tone as all I ever wish for is to be happy and for everyone around me to feel the same always.

Now, even the sentence "Happy Birthday" is enough to plaster a giant smile on my face for the next ten minutes. A simple cake does the same, except the smile lasts for a good hour or two.

In an unexpected turn of events though, I didn't get a cake.

Oh no. I didn't get a cake, alright.

I got three. :)

As for birthday greetings, I got at least 20 this year.

It may not sound like much, but it meant the world to me. Even though not everyone remembered, the ones who did, filled my heart with such a delirious sense of joy to the point where it seemed as if the world no longer seemed to be stuck in a state of black and white, but one that had splashes of colour in the right places.

Therefore, I thank everyone who has made my birthday even more enjoyable from the deep, dark depths of my polluted, misanthropic heart.

Also, I'd like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. As a greeting, I was going to post up a picture of Joseph the Illuminated Idiot (as nicknamed by Uncle Larry), but Joseph looks a little too blurry in the picture. :(

Merry Christmas anyway! And to my machas, lets have a blast this New Year's Eve. We've still got to paint the town in bright, garish hues of red! =D

EDIT @ 9.48pm

HI JOSEPH!!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Funny, this shit is.

Here's our shot to insight.

Listening to: LEATHERMOUTH // Murder Was The Case They Gave Me

Apathy has been playing a major part in my life as of late. The lack of emotion and impassiveness that I have taken to showing has somehow formed a barrier; a shield from all those who seek to hurt or alienate me whether it be directly or indirectly. Even if they may not seem to understand the emotions that are currently convulsing through every fibre of my being, I do not expect them to comprehend the complexity of my own disturbed psyche.

Right now, I feel as though I am unable to actually feel any more. I am the epitome of the word "lugubrious" and " despondent". I am the embodiment of the lost souls of tomorrow.

For I am only a mortal. A mortal who has to face life and the various obstacles it places, every single day just like everyone else. I must learn to let go of the affairs that perpetually tug at the strings of my heart. For it will do nothing but destroy all that is left of my now fragile subconscious.

Perhaps, I am overreacting. Perhaps, this is but a mere imbroglio. A passing moment of insecurity.
My deduction tells me that is the answer to my sudden loss of faith in the human race. However, my heart tells me otherwise.

It asks me, "What exactly do I want from them?"

The answer is that there is no answer.
I am at a loss. A state of mind whereby nothing seems to make sense any longer.

Oh, how it eludes me.
How it grabs my attention, yet brings it to a sudden halt.

Reality can be such a bitch sometimes.

Silence you lost me.

Listening to: Avenged Sevenfold // Trashed & Scattered

Haro! I'm dead bored. As usual. BOREDBOREDBOREDBORED.

LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR :
1. New camera!
2. New MacBook!
3. New i-Pod!
4. New hair style!
5. New Vivian? HEE.

PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS : Wong Yin Yee

YOUR 5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER :
1. Strange coz' she smiles to herself. =p
2. Scary sometimes.
3. Pretty girl. :)
4. Loves her boyfriend.
5. Loves me!

MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU :
Being there for me to rant and rant and rant and rant. And complain about how bored I am. :D

THE MOST MEMORABLE WORDS HE/SHE SAID TO YOU :
o_O. I don't know?

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR LOVER, YOU WILL :
Oh boy. How kinkeh. I like.

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY, THE REASON WILL BE :
OMG. Because I....actually I don't know.

DO THIS QUIZ WITH THESE 10 PEOPLE:
1. Zhi Lin.
2. Kimberly.
3. Yinnie.
4. Eng Teck.
5. Yee Keng.
6. Joanne.
7. Ee May.
8. Pota-to-da-toe.
9. Vivian.
10. Ngai Hong.

WHO IS No.7 HAVNG RELATIONSHIP WITH :
LOLOLOLOLO. Youngwoong Jaejoong.

WHO IS NO.9 HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH :
Me. *pervy look*

IF NO.9 AND NO.1 ARE TOGETHER, WILL IT BE A GOOD THING? :
MAYBE? They don't know each other. :(

WHAT ABOUT NO.1 AND NO.5? :
HAHAHHAHAHA. DAMN FUNNY LOR.
"DEAR, MCR IS NOT EMO!"
"FUCK YOU LAH. MCR ARE EMO! *head bangs to Children of Bodom*"

WHAT IS NO.3 STUDYING? :
Her boyfriend. OOH.

WHEN IS THE LAST TIME U CHATTED WITH NO.6? :
Right now. =O

DOES NO.4 WORK? :
He wants to!!

DOES NO.8 HAS ANY COUSINS IN SKOOL? :
No way man.

WILL YOU WOO AT NO.8? :
NO. EWWWWWW. HOW INCESTUOUS.

HOW ABOUT NO.5? :
Hahah. Nope.

DOES NO.2 HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? :
Yes. Older sister.

HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW ABOUT NO.3? :
Through Lim Zhi Lin.

AND NO.4? :
I have no idea. HAHA.

WHERE DOES NO.1 LIVE AT? :
In the loony bin. XD

HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW NO.2? :
Through Lim Zhi Lin, again.

IS NO.5 THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD? :
I THINK HE THINKS THAT I THINK THAT HE THINKS HE'S A SMEXY BEAST.

TAG 5 PEOPLE :
NO ONE! WHEEEEEEEE.

An interlude.

Listening to: My Chemical Romance // Dead!

What can I say? I actually had a lot of fun last night. You could pretty much say we got down and dirty, got high on sweet guava juice and some of us even ended the night with a bang.

We DJ-ians really showed the world that we know how to party. :)

I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets.

Listening to: My Chemical Romance // Demolition Lovers

I'll let you know just how much you mean to me as snow falls on desert sky.

On the afternoon of December 7th, the gods smiled upon me and granted me with an item most coveted amongst young adults: A CONCERT TICKET TO MY CHEMICAL-FUCKING-ROMANCE.

Thank you, Vivian. :)

Haro blurry Mikey! & half of Ray's 'fro!

I can hardly describe the emotions that are currently coursing through my being. The concert has been over for close to 13 hours, yet I can still feel my heart beating to the rhythmic drumming, the guitar riffs and the constantly thumping bass-line. I can still hear Gerard Way's heart-wrenching screams and passionate lyrics. I can still imagine the shock I obtained as a girl collapsed right before my very eyes.I can still feel the light pitter-patter of the rain on my skin and the body heat of others. Most of all, I can still imagine myself standing in the middle of that mosh-pit, screaming my lungs out, mouthing the words to every song.........and being this close to passing out.

The wave of bodies became too much for me to handle. I had little choice but to retreat to the back of the crowd. However, once I composed myself, I burst into an onslaught of screams and waved a fist in the air, jumping to and fro to the melodious sounds of a never-ending nocturne.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help feeling a pang of guilt during Pop Shuvit's set. The cries of "MCR! MCR!", never ceased to ring in my ears as Pop Shuvit pushed on with vigour and they put on an amazing show.

Bottom line, this concert was the best I've ever attended. The boys of My Chemical Romance put on a prodigious show and I enjoyed every moment of it and I wouldn't hesitate to relive it all over again.

Be that as it may, it could have been a more pleasurable experience if it weren't for the presence of rabid fans who were pushing and clamouring to get to the barricade. What makes it worse, is the fact that they were still doing that even though they knew a girl had fainted and was trying to get to the ambulance.

And people wonder exactly why I am a misanthropist.

And now the red ones make me fly and the blue ones help me fall.
Well, I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling.
And when the fragments of my skull begin to fall.
Fall on your tongue like pixie dust, just think happy thoughts.

Uneasy with confrontation.

Listening to: Avenged Sevenfold // Clairvoyant Disease

Just so you people know, my life will never be complete until I see the following people live in concert or meet them.

And I'm already missing MCR. Darn.

************

Got tagged by Khai Sim.

[seven things I'm experiencing now]
- Boredom.
- Liberation.
- Anxiety.
- Excitement.
- Thirst.
- Sloth.
- Brain damage.

[seven things I'm thinking about now]
- I hate being bored.
- I love Steph for buying me A7X's "All Excess" DVD. <3
- I hate being bored.
- I hate being bored.
- I hate being bored.
- I hate being bored.
- I hate being bored.

[seven things I'm worrying about]
- SPM results.
- College.
- SPM results.
- Where to get my shoes for prom.
- What songs to perform at prom.
- I'm worrying about the fact that the whole world is in love with the band that I'm in love with.
- My future.

[seven things I'm happy about]
- Just being alive.
- Having a loving family and insane friends. :D
- The fact that I haven't lost my Photoshop skills after such a long time of not touching it.
- Going to college next year.
- The fact that I'm exercising again.
- The fact that I am not required to attend National Service.
- Other stuff.

[seven people I treasure]
- Mommy.
- Sister.
- Brother.
- Dad.
- Other relatives.
- Friends.
- Every other individual who has played an important role in my life.

[seven things I always touch or come in contact with]
- My bed.
- My cellphone.
- My i-Pod.
- My computer.
- People.
- Food.
- Drink.

[seven things I want to improve]
- My singing.
- The piano.
- The guitar.
- My personality.
- My i-Pod. D:
- My initiative.
- My showmanship.

[seven things I'm strong in]
- Performing Arts.
- Graphic design, I think?
- Keeping certain things on the down low.
- Being totally random.
- Being loyal.
- Knowing how to be serious when absolutely necessary.
- The English language?

[seven things I'm weak in]
- I would rather not like to dwell on my vices and focus more on my good qualities.

[seven things I adore eating]
- Basically, I like anything that is edible, tasty and within my means.

[seven things I adore drinking]
- In a nutshell, I like anything that can be consumed, tastes good, isn't too sweet and does not contain anything disgusting.

[seven things I detest]
- People in general.
- The way things are being run at the moment.
- Stupid fan girls.
- Smart-asses.
- Blackouts.
- Mainstream radio.
- Disgusting stuff.

[seven things I cannot live without]
- Air.
- Water.
- Food.
- Music.
- Family.
- Friends.
- Life.

[seven things I fear to show]
- I don't really want to expose things about me that can be used against me.

[seven things I'll never want to talk about]
- Refer to the above, please.

[seven things I want to do]
- Make the most out of life before I die.
- Achieve my dream of becoming a world-renowned performer/musician.
- Find the perfect pair of shoes for prom.
- Enrol in college.
- Attend the prestigious Williams College of Music or some other prestigious institution that offers the subject.
- Stop being bored.
- Make Tze Yeen stop being indecisive about where to eat for her birthday.

[seven things I will never play around when/with]
- I really have no idea.

[seven things (or people) I would love to see]
- At least 6A's on my SPM slip.
- Avenged Sevenfold.
- My Chemical Romance.
- Lee Hom.
- Steph.
- Any other individual who has made a difference in my life.
- I have no clue.

[seven people I want to tag]
- You.
- Me.
- He.
- She.
- Them.
- We.
- The others.

This meme was a total waste of my time and yours. :)

Fight for honour, fight for your right.

Listening to: Kitaro // Matsuri

Haro Mr.Kitaro-who-knows-how-to-play-more-than-10-instruments.

Yesterday's concert at Genting was an extremely surreal experience. For a person to be able to play so many instruments in a span of 2 hours, is positively amazing. Despite the fact that I was suffering from a bout of car-sickness due to the windy roads of the highlands, listening to this man's music made me forget all about it. So, basically, there are no words to describe how spectacular this concert was. :)

And haro Mr.Guitarist-who-plays-really-well-that-my-mommy-has-a-crush-on.
Thanks for posing with your pretty guitar! :D
I still really like your blue acoustic and your white electric.

*****************

At times, I feel as if I'm the most unique individual out there. But, there are times when I just have to question my individuality.

Am I really the person I put myself out to be? Question of the year folks.


& Synyster Gates is pretty much one of the most amazing guitarists I've heard so far. :)