Let's sleep till the sun burns us.

Listening to: The Used // I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes)

I'm melting in your eyes, like my first time that I caught fire.

I'd love to be able to melt into a person's eyes.
To swim in the deep ocean of emotions, watching waves crash against ragged rocks on the bay or even observe the calmness of it all.

To be able to connect with that one soul for a brief moment.

How I would love it so....

I can see myself there already. :)

Just stay with me, lay with me.

Of papayas & milk.

Listening to: Final Fantasy X-2 Piano Collections // Eternity ~Memory of Lightwaves~

I swear, I haven't laughed this much in ages.
Papayas&Milk (inside joke) seem to be the new dieting phenomenon, eh?

& I've discovered how perasan me and Jia Wei really are.

"Why do people say self-praise is no praise?"

"I AM VOLUPTUOUS."

"Katak di bawah tempurung di bawah longkang yang ditutup dengan batu besar yang telah di-shit on oleh burung."

" (O.-) "

"Eh. We both seriously damn wu liao right? Can come up with this kind of jokes."

"OMFG. YOU DAMN S&M WEH."

Ell-Oh-Ell.
Classic moments.

& I love Maggie hugs.
I think she's going to be my 2nd Hwee Ching.

:)

**************************

Fong Zhi Hao, if you ever find out about this post.

Next time, when I'm on the phone, don't kacau me to ask me for directions.
Because I will not be able to reply you. THEREFORE, pay attention to where I'm waving my HAND.

To the left, to the left.

Ended up in Rawang. Surrounded by oil palms and rubber trees.
Ended up panicking as well.
But then again, Zhi Hao's reactions to the whole situation was fairly amusing.

Drive to Johor can go visit your aunty/uncle and my grandpa, hor.

wth. You don't know how happy we both were when we saw the big "SIERRAMAS" sign.

Stupid road signs. Curse you!

& I really love my Aunty for buying me that Eighteen Visions shirt I've been wanting. <3

I'm the one you want to lose.

Listening to: Saosin // An Epitaph

I'm sad.

Like wtf. Saosin are going to Singapore. COME HERE LAH DIU.
First it was Avenged Sevenfold, now it's Saosin. D:

Stupid government and their incessant need to deprive us of good music.......
*grumbles*

Super-glue the Queen of Hearts.

Listening to: Pencey Prep // Don Quixote

OMFG.

WHY ON EARTH DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME HOW YUMMY RAMLY BURGERS ARE?

Damn nice lah!!!!

It's even better than Burger King! HECK. It out beats McDonalds by like, a bazillion times!
& I EFFING LOVE MCDONALDS FILET' O FISH, KAY?! Even though the portion has somehow shrunk over the years. O_O

When you bite down on the delectable white bread & chicken patty seasoned with curry powder and soy sauce, you can just feel the juices flowing out of the meat. The sauce is to die for, spicy yet tangy. Sweet yet sour. A perfect combination. I don't know what the hell they put in it, but it just smells and tastes heavenly!

Wtf, I make it sound like some gourmet meal or something.

OMG. I even found the way it was cooked fascinating! Thank God the guy doesn't use like recycled oil or whatever. I was pretty surprised when I saw him whip out some butter/margarine and spread it out on the grill. Then, it got even worse when I saw him cutting the patty with his spatula and cracked the egg with one hand. Pro!

Surprisingly, it wasn't dirty either. I think it was pretty okay for roadside food.
At least got no lalat flying around trying to eat the food. Sure damn wtf one lor. I would've thrown my sexy gold wedge at the Pak Cik's head if I found the stall too dirty or something.

See lah, Ying. You've made me and Jia Wei fall in love with a hamburger.

But, it's so tasty that I can't hate it. Weekly Ramly Burger sessions, here I come!
I get fat with you lah, Ying. xD

*happyhappyhappyhappy*

*************

I think the whole of Leader's Club think I'm an absolute bimbo.
wtfffffffff.

The angels just cut out her tongue.

Listening to: My Chemical Romance // Hang 'Em High

Trust no one and no one will hurt you.
Either way, we're all going to fucking die.

The words "Six Feet Under" have never sounded so inviting.
We're damned after all.

************************

Poetry by Keith Buckley and F.T. Willz respectively.

I fucking love poetry.

It's so hard to say goodbye.

EDITED; 11.30pm, 16/02/08
Listening to: Emmy Rossum // Slow Me Down

I just got to thinking.
I get the feeling that I'm not the most well-liked person amongst my "peers".
But, I guess I can't call them "peers" if they don't like me lah, right? Well, duh.

Gosh, why didn't I notice this sooner? Even a 5 year old would have been able to tell.

Listening to: Christina Aguilera // Hurt


It seems as though every time I open my heart to someone, every time I give more of myself to an individual and let down my guard, I end up getting so hurt to the point where it could tear me apart.

Every time I hand over the key of that warm, beating apparatus with its cold, hard exterior to an individual, I end up having to change the locks.

I might think about permanently moulding that keyhole shut. My heart can't take this harsh world for much longer. It's much too delicate for this world & no longer wishes to continue beating for the ones who have hurt it so.

I'm an emotional person. I don't know how to handle my feelings.
Why exactly do you think my heart's kept under lock and key?

It's because I can't handle the waves it creates as they crash down on me.

PS: Dear Ying Xian,
No, I am not sad. I am merely voicing out what I have been feeling as of late.
Don't have to worry! =)

& there goes my life; passing by with every exit sign.

Listening to: City & Colour // Hello, I'm In Delaware

Love is just another emotion that could either make or break us.

Today, is Valentines Day/Singles Awareness Day.
And boy, does it depress the crap out of me.
To me, all this day does, is remind people like me about what we're missing out on.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with love at all.
There are so many different forms of love out there!
In fact, I find love to be one of the most beautiful emotions that a human is capable of showing.
As quoted from the movie Moulin Rouge:

"Love is like oxygen.
Love is a many splendour thing.
Love lifts us up where we belong.
All we need is love."

Yeah. Romantic shit, that is, innit?

Now, this is where the ride finds itself stuck at a dead end.

SOME OF US, NEVER HAD THE PLEASURE TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST.
Romantically, that is.

So, before you start complaining about how your boyfriend has never bought you roses or how your girlfriend is freaking high-maintenance, do think about people like me.
Before you decide to lead a certain someone on, just for kicks, think about people like me.
Before you start taking your partner for granted, think about people like me.

LIKE SERIOUSLY. Most people don't even pay attention to me.
It's like I'm invisible or something.

I've got a right mind to dress up in a chicken suit and scream my lungs out in the middle of Taylor's just to get someone or anyone to listen to my opinions.

Honestly! When have my opinions or ideas been taken seriously?! I don't even know myself!
Yes, I realise that my misanthropic/cynical nature puts people off. But, that doesn't mean I'm incapable of thinking rationally or logically!

I may be a bimbo, but I'm a bright bimbo! Really, I am!

Fine. Maybe not. My IQ only 133. D:

STILL! I'm human. I enjoy attention.
I don't go around looking for it though. I just enjoy the rush I get when people actually think that what I have to say is important or interesting.

Digressing!

Yes. So, the only bright side of Valentines/S.A.D. (Omgwtfpanda. You see lah. Damn ironic. SAD day. D:) is the very fact that I don't have to think about what to get or do for my significant other.

Plus, I'm sort of broke. Money is a necessity!
FOOD IS AN INELASTIC ITEM, WHEREAS VALENTINE GIFTS ARE ELASTIC.
See, I do listen during Economics class. NOT SO BIMBOTIC AFTER ALL, EH?!

PS: Thanks to Alia, Jia Wei and Eugene for the flowers. They really made my day a little more bearable. :)

We never used to act our age everytime we were together.

Listening to: Busted // Everything I Knew

Sunday was fun.
4 hours worth of much needed catching up was done.

Sitting at the table getting high on home-made pumpkin soup and chocolate cake.

Walking to the mosquito infested playground, singing My Chemical Romance songs.

Watching Lao Gong Kimmy bleed her nose off .

Cracking jokes about the kiddies who would find the bloody puddle in said playground.

Gossiping like the girls we are by the swimming pool in the clubhouse.

Laughing at ChimpanZhi and her obsession with lao ah peks.

Watching Cheri spazz and freak over Okami.

Staring at Yammie for constantly raiding the sweet jar.

Yinnie and her head-shaking as the rest of the gang cracked the lamest jokes.

Good times, good times. =)
How I missed you jakuns. <3

It pains me to know that we're so far away from each other now.
No more weird sessions during recess.
No more running to Mersawa to kacau. No more getting high on egg tarts.
No more Kimmy running away from butterflies and soya bean spewing out her nose. xD

I wish we could rewind to the days that remind me of all the good times we spent together.
Don't you?

My surface is so tough, I don't think the blade will dig in.

Listening to: City and Colour // Save Your Scissors

Happy CNY.
May the coming New Year be a happy and prosperous one.

LIM ZHI LIN AND GANG. MY PLACE. SUNDAY.
BE THERE OR I WILL KIDNAP GERARD WAY AND SHOVE HIM IN A CLOSET AND MAKE HIM MY SLAVE.

=D

PS: Still need someone to go out with me to Laundry, fyi. D:

Addicted to your lies; Think I've been victimized.

Listening to: Eighteen Visions // Victim

You can't be saved
You've gone and dug your grave
And it's getting deeper by the minute
Well you had to turn your back
Ain't cutting you no slack
Hooked on your lies you had me going

So give me one good reason I should be forgiving you when I don't care anyway
So give me two good reasons I should be forgiving you when I'm the victim today

You threw it all away
Still getting high today
You'll crash and burn before you know it

Addicted to your lies
Think I've been victimized
Same day, same night, same situation

So give me one good reason I should be forgiving you when I don't care anyway
So give me two good reasons I should be forgiving you when I'm the victim today

And I feel like I'm the victim
I feel like I have been criticized

By every little thing you've said
Now I don't care cos you're the one that's going down
And now I've left you here for dead

So give me one good reason I should be forgiving you when I don't care anyway
So give me two good reasons I should be forgiving you when I'm the victim today

And I feel like I'm the victim

**************************

I have not had a pleasant 17 years.

What gives you the right to say that my life has been a bed of roses?
What gives you the right to say something about me when you don't even have a fucking clue as to what I've been through?

Sure, I'm a lot more luckier compared to others.
I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and an education.

I know all of that. I am not an ungrateful brat.

But, you will never know the life I have led because you've never been in my shoes.

If you did, would you feel sympathy for me?
Would you just casually brush the matter aside and say that I'm over-reacting?

Fine.
Maybe I am over-reacting.
Maybe I tend over-analyse certain situations.
Maybe I just look at things in an even more microscopic view than compared to others.
Maybe I'm just a paranoid wreck.

So what?

Even if I were a paranoid wreck, you don't have the right to judge. To assess my behaviour and come up with your own inferences or conclusions as to why I behave the way that I do.

You will never understand. No matter how much you try.
You never will comprehend me and be able to know what my life has been like.

Don't even try to get into my head because you never can and you never will.

"Those who take the biggest risks in life have the greatest rewards,and anyone too scared to take those risks look down on those who do.
The best revenge is bettering yourself."

-Zacky Vengeance

Hell yeah, mother fuckers.

Note to self: stop swearing.

Can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping.

Listening to: My Chemical Romance // Heaven Help Us

Hear the sound
The angels come screaming
Down your voice
I hear you've been bleeding

Make your choice
They say you've been pleading
Someone save us

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you're falling down

I'm at this old hotel
But can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping
Or screaming or waiting for the man to call
And maybe all of the above
Cause mostly I've been sprawled on these cathedral steps
While spitting out the blood and screaming
"Someone save us!"

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you're falling down

And will you pray for me?
Or make a saint of me?
And will you lay for me?
Or make a saint of?

Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
Cover me in gasoline
Wipe away those tears of blood again
And the punchline to the joke is asking
Someone save us

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We'll hear the sound
As you fall

And would you pray for me?
(You don't know a thing about my sins
How the misery begins)
Or make a saint of me?
(You don't know
So I'm burning, I'm burning)
And will you lay for me?
(You don't know a thing about my sins
How the misery begins)
Or make a saint?
(You don't know
Cause I'm burning, I'm burning)

Cause I'll give you all the nails you need
(I'm burning, I'm burning again)
Cover me in gasoline again

***************

Remember when I asked you if you wanted to see how far down I can sink?

This is as deep as it gets.


Fuck.

"Well my gun fires seven different shades of shit.
So what's your favorite color, punk?"