You're a freaking idiot.
Self harm is stupid.
Don't do it, kids.
____________________________________________________________
I'm gonna go look back on my life now [Thank you, Zhi Lin for blogworthy material]. Cue the flashbacks.
Baby - Toddler - Kindergarden years
It's amazing, isn't it. I still remember what I liked when I was young.
Sesame Street was one thing. Oh the joys of watching the likes of Big Bird, Kermit the Frog and Cookie Monster.
Apparently, I could watch those videos for hours on end. This probably contributed to my love for anything Sesame Street. To be frank, I still love Sesame Street although don't watch it anymore. BUT WHO CARES? At least I'm in touch with my inner child.
There was also a Disney stage. Not to say that I dislike Disney now (LOVE is more like it), but Disney movies like Bambi, Cinderella, Snow White, The Fox and The Hound and Sleeping Beauty played a vital role in my childhood. Practically all Disney movies have something to teach and that's also probably why I'm so childish sometimes.
Yes, I still watch Disney movies. Got a problem with that?
Have I mentioned that I lovelovelovelove Winnie the Pooh? Especially Pooh Bear plushies. *hinthint*
Moving on. As most people would know, music is my ultimate passion. I honestly could not, imagine my life without music. So, of course, by the time I was 3, I'd already started liking stuff by Michael Jackson.
I remember spending my days in front of the stereo, dancing and singing to Thriller as I imagined myself on a huge stage with millions of people cheering me on.
I still love Michael Jackson as he's the one who started everything in the first place. His music, his works, was the reason why I'm pursuing a career in the music industry now. He is my ultimate inspiration. I don't care if people are accusing him of being a child molester, or if he's dodging taxes or if he doesn't have nose. All I care about is the music he made. Everything else doesn't matter.
So, all in all. I was a pretty happy-go-lucky kid. And then comes Primary School.
Primary school years
Ah. The years where everything begins and everything ends. A milestone in every 7 year olds life. The start of pursuing knowledge and making an ass out of yourself.
I never liked my primary school years. I never had proper friends, I never did well, I never cared about anything. I faced everything that was thrown as me.
How do you think a 7 year old could handle all that pressure from parents, friends and teachers? The answer is, I couldn't handle it. So, I have a huge feeling that it contributed to the attitude problem I had back then.
I admit, I wasn't a nice kid. I was easily irritated. It was what we'd call "Xiao Qi" kinda thing.
OOH. The people who hated me really hated me. Like, HATE HATE. Not a nice thing to deal with.
And then we fast forward a little. That's when I met Cheri. I could probably describe her as a quiet and introverted person. Which was probably how I'd describe myself now.
Cheri was my first ever friend who I could tell anything to. She was supportive, she was smart, she was everything I wasn't. That's probably why we got along so well.
We were practically inseparable. Like 2 sides of the same coin. We talked about anything and everything. We could rattle on for hours on end about music, books and movies. That's how We even planned on going to the same secondary school.
Well, at least until I screwed everything up and ended up going to BUD 4.
But I love this girl with all my heart, she'll always play an important role in my life and I really appreciate everything she's ever done for me. I know that I haven't been the greatest friend in the world, but I just want you to know that you mean so much to me and I thank you for that.
Lower Secondary years
Oh joy. And we bring ourselves to my lower secondary years. I hated these years even more than my primary school years.
Having to deal with peer pressure is a really stressful thing.
Popularity was such a big deal to me then, for some reason. I guess, I just wanted to be accepted by everyone due to the fact that I hadn't been accepted by anyone completely before.
I would try my hardest to fit in. I would try my best to keep up with the latest trends, to associate myself with the "popular" people.
And then, in Form 2. Something changed me. I got stabbed in the back by people I had trusted and that really affected me. I stopped talking to people completely. I stopped caring about everything. It affected everything in my life, including my studies. I became even more introverted than I already was. I couldn't trust anyone anymore.
Form 3 was the hardest year of my life. Ever.
There's not really much to say other than that my life was a living hell.
And again, there was more backstabbing on my part and others, as well as more trash-talking.
I started thinking about my life. What had I achieved by then? What had I done that was worth noting?
Nothing.
Zilch.
Zip.
Nada.
A BIG FAT ZERO.
And then I sunk into this crazy depression. I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I hated myself. I hated everything and everyone around me. That was when I decided, I couldn't stay in that school anymore. It was too much for me. My self-esteem was at an all time low, friends were coming and going and I was blaming myself for everything. For things I hadn't done, for things I did do. It was time to move on.
Present
New school means new start. I had to start fresh.
The first month in DJ wasn't very pleasant as my wounds were still relatively fresh and I was still really introverted.
But, thank God Cheri was around. And then Jia Huey popped in in March. That made everything so much more better for me.
I'm actually happy now. I laugh more. I smile more. I don't burst into tears at random times.
My studies have taken a turn for the better as I'm actually trying now. I met new people, I learned things about myself that I had never known before.
This is how much moving to a new school has affected me.
I've stopped swearing. I talk a lot more. I'm a nicer person in general. At least, that's what I'd like to think. Haha.
I don't have to deal with so much drama anymore.
And most importantly, I don't have to face everything alone anymore.
Don't do it, kids.
____________________________________________________________
I'm gonna go look back on my life now [Thank you, Zhi Lin for blogworthy material]. Cue the flashbacks.
Baby - Toddler - Kindergarden years
It's amazing, isn't it. I still remember what I liked when I was young.
Sesame Street was one thing. Oh the joys of watching the likes of Big Bird, Kermit the Frog and Cookie Monster.
Apparently, I could watch those videos for hours on end. This probably contributed to my love for anything Sesame Street. To be frank, I still love Sesame Street although don't watch it anymore. BUT WHO CARES? At least I'm in touch with my inner child.
There was also a Disney stage. Not to say that I dislike Disney now (LOVE is more like it), but Disney movies like Bambi, Cinderella, Snow White, The Fox and The Hound and Sleeping Beauty played a vital role in my childhood. Practically all Disney movies have something to teach and that's also probably why I'm so childish sometimes.
Yes, I still watch Disney movies. Got a problem with that?
Have I mentioned that I lovelovelovelove Winnie the Pooh? Especially Pooh Bear plushies. *hinthint*
Moving on. As most people would know, music is my ultimate passion. I honestly could not, imagine my life without music. So, of course, by the time I was 3, I'd already started liking stuff by Michael Jackson.
I remember spending my days in front of the stereo, dancing and singing to Thriller as I imagined myself on a huge stage with millions of people cheering me on.
I still love Michael Jackson as he's the one who started everything in the first place. His music, his works, was the reason why I'm pursuing a career in the music industry now. He is my ultimate inspiration. I don't care if people are accusing him of being a child molester, or if he's dodging taxes or if he doesn't have nose. All I care about is the music he made. Everything else doesn't matter.
So, all in all. I was a pretty happy-go-lucky kid. And then comes Primary School.
Primary school years
Ah. The years where everything begins and everything ends. A milestone in every 7 year olds life. The start of pursuing knowledge and making an ass out of yourself.
I never liked my primary school years. I never had proper friends, I never did well, I never cared about anything. I faced everything that was thrown as me.
How do you think a 7 year old could handle all that pressure from parents, friends and teachers? The answer is, I couldn't handle it. So, I have a huge feeling that it contributed to the attitude problem I had back then.
I admit, I wasn't a nice kid. I was easily irritated. It was what we'd call "Xiao Qi" kinda thing.
OOH. The people who hated me really hated me. Like, HATE HATE. Not a nice thing to deal with.
And then we fast forward a little. That's when I met Cheri. I could probably describe her as a quiet and introverted person. Which was probably how I'd describe myself now.
Cheri was my first ever friend who I could tell anything to. She was supportive, she was smart, she was everything I wasn't. That's probably why we got along so well.
We were practically inseparable. Like 2 sides of the same coin. We talked about anything and everything. We could rattle on for hours on end about music, books and movies. That's how We even planned on going to the same secondary school.
Well, at least until I screwed everything up and ended up going to BUD 4.
But I love this girl with all my heart, she'll always play an important role in my life and I really appreciate everything she's ever done for me. I know that I haven't been the greatest friend in the world, but I just want you to know that you mean so much to me and I thank you for that.
Lower Secondary years
Oh joy. And we bring ourselves to my lower secondary years. I hated these years even more than my primary school years.
Having to deal with peer pressure is a really stressful thing.
Popularity was such a big deal to me then, for some reason. I guess, I just wanted to be accepted by everyone due to the fact that I hadn't been accepted by anyone completely before.
I would try my hardest to fit in. I would try my best to keep up with the latest trends, to associate myself with the "popular" people.
And then, in Form 2. Something changed me. I got stabbed in the back by people I had trusted and that really affected me. I stopped talking to people completely. I stopped caring about everything. It affected everything in my life, including my studies. I became even more introverted than I already was. I couldn't trust anyone anymore.
Form 3 was the hardest year of my life. Ever.
There's not really much to say other than that my life was a living hell.
And again, there was more backstabbing on my part and others, as well as more trash-talking.
I started thinking about my life. What had I achieved by then? What had I done that was worth noting?
Nothing.
Zilch.
Zip.
Nada.
A BIG FAT ZERO.
And then I sunk into this crazy depression. I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I hated myself. I hated everything and everyone around me. That was when I decided, I couldn't stay in that school anymore. It was too much for me. My self-esteem was at an all time low, friends were coming and going and I was blaming myself for everything. For things I hadn't done, for things I did do. It was time to move on.
Present
New school means new start. I had to start fresh.
The first month in DJ wasn't very pleasant as my wounds were still relatively fresh and I was still really introverted.
But, thank God Cheri was around. And then Jia Huey popped in in March. That made everything so much more better for me.
I'm actually happy now. I laugh more. I smile more. I don't burst into tears at random times.
My studies have taken a turn for the better as I'm actually trying now. I met new people, I learned things about myself that I had never known before.
This is how much moving to a new school has affected me.
I've stopped swearing. I talk a lot more. I'm a nicer person in general. At least, that's what I'd like to think. Haha.
I don't have to deal with so much drama anymore.
And most importantly, I don't have to face everything alone anymore.
Sleeping puppies!!!!! KAWAII!!!!!!
