Here's our shot to insight.
Listening to: LEATHERMOUTH // Murder Was The Case They Gave Me
Apathy has been playing a major part in my life as of late. The lack of emotion and impassiveness that I have taken to showing has somehow formed a barrier; a shield from all those who seek to hurt or alienate me whether it be directly or indirectly. Even if they may not seem to understand the emotions that are currently convulsing through every fibre of my being, I do not expect them to comprehend the complexity of my own disturbed psyche.
Right now, I feel as though I am unable to actually feel any more. I am the epitome of the word "lugubrious" and " despondent". I am the embodiment of the lost souls of tomorrow.
For I am only a mortal. A mortal who has to face life and the various obstacles it places, every single day just like everyone else. I must learn to let go of the affairs that perpetually tug at the strings of my heart. For it will do nothing but destroy all that is left of my now fragile subconscious.
Perhaps, I am overreacting. Perhaps, this is but a mere imbroglio. A passing moment of insecurity.
My deduction tells me that is the answer to my sudden loss of faith in the human race. However, my heart tells me otherwise.
It asks me, "What exactly do I want from them?"
The answer is that there is no answer.
I am at a loss. A state of mind whereby nothing seems to make sense any longer.
Oh, how it eludes me.
How it grabs my attention, yet brings it to a sudden halt.
Reality can be such a bitch sometimes.
Right now, I feel as though I am unable to actually feel any more. I am the epitome of the word "lugubrious" and " despondent". I am the embodiment of the lost souls of tomorrow.
For I am only a mortal. A mortal who has to face life and the various obstacles it places, every single day just like everyone else. I must learn to let go of the affairs that perpetually tug at the strings of my heart. For it will do nothing but destroy all that is left of my now fragile subconscious.
Perhaps, I am overreacting. Perhaps, this is but a mere imbroglio. A passing moment of insecurity.
My deduction tells me that is the answer to my sudden loss of faith in the human race. However, my heart tells me otherwise.
It asks me, "What exactly do I want from them?"
The answer is that there is no answer.
I am at a loss. A state of mind whereby nothing seems to make sense any longer.
Oh, how it eludes me.
How it grabs my attention, yet brings it to a sudden halt.
Reality can be such a bitch sometimes.
2 comments:
why do boys suck? i like boys.. =(
Apathy? Sorry darling, THAT, you are not. That is not possible for someone who still believes in wanting the good for everyone. Some label that naivety but I honestly know that is all heart and compassion, which takes a while to find but we usually do find it.... when we least expect to.
And I enjoy your thoughts. The best of writers are not the ones with words that require a reader to hold a dictionary at all times. THe best of writers tease the readers mind to want to seek out the meaning behind her words. The best of readers put their hearts into it and it unfolds with each word.
Hugs. Miss you already.
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