Curse Of The Golden Flower

Okay. Movie review time.

I just saw Curse Of The Golden Flower yesterday! The trailer really impressed me when I saw it before, so I HAD to see it.

Here's the synopsis, copied and pasted from who-knows-where.

China, Later Tang Dynasty, 10th Century.

On the eve of the Chong Yang Festival, golden flowers fill the Imperial Palace. The Emperor (Chow Yun Fat) returns unexpectedly with his second son, Prince Jai (Jay Chou). His pretext is to celebrate the holiday with his family, but given the chilled relations between the Emperor and the ailing Empress (Gong Li), this seems disingenuous.

For many years, the Empress and Crown Prince Wan (Liu Ye), her stepson, have had an illicit liaison. Feeling trapped, Prince Wan dreams of escaping the palace with his secret love Chan (Li Man), the Imperial Doctor's daughter.

Meanwhile, Prince Jai, the faithful son, grows worried over the Empress's health and her obsession with golden chrysanthemums. Could she be headed down an ominous path?

The Emperor harbors equally clandestine plans; the Imperial doctor (Ni Dahong) is the only one privy to his machinations. When the Emperor senses a looming threat, he relocates the doctor's family from the Palace to a remote area. While they are en route, mysterious assassins attack them. Chan and her mother, Jiang Shi (Chen Jin) are forced back to the palace.

Their return sets off a tumultuous sequence of dark surprises. Amid the glamour and grandeur of the festival, ugly secrets are revealed.

Sounds interesting already.
Anyhoo. This movie really didn't disappoint me. HOWEVER. Them idiots at who-knows-where HAD to DUB it in CANTONESE.

WTF man. Lu dub mandarin show into Cantonese for what leh? Bo si zou ah? Siao lang. So free. Go do something constructive like....bake a cake or something. Yeesh.

So yeah. The dubbing sucked.
THEIR MOUTHS WEREN'T MOVING TO THEIR WORDS. So weird and awkward.
Gong Li didn't sound hot anymore. But she sure as hell looked it.

See. Even she agrees.

And her boobs were pushed up SO high that I think you could support something with them. Like a pencil.
The servants boobs were pushed up really high too.

Wah liao. Can still breathe some more.

Oh yeah. Back to the movie.

For one, the cinematography was sooooo good. There was one scene at the end, where Gong Li goes all "AHHHHHH" and breaks a cup.
The cup was falling and breaking in S....L....O....W....M....O....T....I....O....N.
And you could see all the liquid falling in S....L....O....W....M....O....T....I....O....N.
It was pretty.

:)

And surprisingly, after his HORRIBLE acting debut in Initial D, Jay Chou was really, actually, quite good.
Well. At least to me!
He quite yeng also weh.



Oh yeah. There was a LOT of blood too. Me no likey.
SEE! THE MAN'S PRACTICALLY DRENCHED IN THE STUFF.

Yuck. So gross.

Before I forget.
SPOILER ALERT. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU WISH TO HAVE THE STORY RUINED.
Not that anyone cares anyway, but like I said, who cares!

I really think that the Emperor is SUPER EVIL.
I mean, HOW CAN A SON POISON HIS OWN MOMMY? Sot lah you.
Ending so sad. Prince Jie (that's Jay Chou's character) would rather kill himself than give his mommy poison.

ALL THE PRINCES DIED!!!!!!!!
But the siao king didn't. Aihh.
Some more, after that big battle with the golden armor gang, just call the servants to go clean up then gao dim.
SO MEAN. Ten thousand soldiers just died and you're still capable of cleaning up and playing with fireworks??? All your sons also mati, you don't care ah? Tak de heir to the throne. Your dynasty can rot for all I care.

Another shocking thing that happened was when the third prince killed the Crown Prince!
WAH. SO EASY FA PI QI ONE. Small boy also like that. Tsk tsk.

Anyway. I'm done. That probably didn't really tell you much about the movie. haha. I suck at reviews.