Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One.
I know I've been neglecting this blog for a long time. But I haven't had much I've wanted to say. I don't want this blog to end up turning into another empty portion of cyberspace filled with nonsensical entries about what I ate today or what I wore today. I don't know... I just feel much more comfortable posting when I actually feel passionate about it rather than filling this up with empty words.
Speaking of emptiness... It's been months since I last felt this way or even had an inkling of negativity appear within the confinements of my thoughts.
Right now, what I'm feeling is a strange mixture of emptiness, worry and most of all: fear. It's like a dark, malevolent being has been gradually twisting itself like smoke and ivy around my very soul over the past month or so.
It's probably because I'm worried about whether or not I'm going to get into Auckland. The thought of not being able to go is horrific. What would I do with myself if I that letter of acceptance never arrives at my doorstep? I don't think I want to go through the pain of feeling like a complete and total failure after all that effort I've put into my application.
I can literally say that my blood, sweat and especially my tears were put into my audition tape. Late nights at the studio and all those afternoons where I practically slaved away at lyrics and at melodies that made little to no sense at all, trying to piece the puzzle together in a desperate attempt to come up with a decent song or hook. It comes so easily to some people but for me, it's another hurdle I have to leap over; yet another river to paddle my way across. It's another challenge I have to face on my own. And proud as I may be about the fact that I faced this challenge head on, I can't help but fear. I can't help but to be afraid about the million different ways things could go right or worse, wrong.
All I can do now is just wait. To hope and pray that things will work out the way I want them to.
I have never wanted something so badly to the point where it hurts. It hurts just to think about the what ifs and the maybes. I will not settle for anything less than a "YES".
I may be a patient person, but I've never enjoyed the waiting.
Seconds, hours, so many days. You know what you want, but how long can you wait?
Speaking of emptiness... It's been months since I last felt this way or even had an inkling of negativity appear within the confinements of my thoughts.
Right now, what I'm feeling is a strange mixture of emptiness, worry and most of all: fear. It's like a dark, malevolent being has been gradually twisting itself like smoke and ivy around my very soul over the past month or so.
It's probably because I'm worried about whether or not I'm going to get into Auckland. The thought of not being able to go is horrific. What would I do with myself if I that letter of acceptance never arrives at my doorstep? I don't think I want to go through the pain of feeling like a complete and total failure after all that effort I've put into my application.
I can literally say that my blood, sweat and especially my tears were put into my audition tape. Late nights at the studio and all those afternoons where I practically slaved away at lyrics and at melodies that made little to no sense at all, trying to piece the puzzle together in a desperate attempt to come up with a decent song or hook. It comes so easily to some people but for me, it's another hurdle I have to leap over; yet another river to paddle my way across. It's another challenge I have to face on my own. And proud as I may be about the fact that I faced this challenge head on, I can't help but fear. I can't help but to be afraid about the million different ways things could go right or worse, wrong.
All I can do now is just wait. To hope and pray that things will work out the way I want them to.
I have never wanted something so badly to the point where it hurts. It hurts just to think about the what ifs and the maybes. I will not settle for anything less than a "YES".
I may be a patient person, but I've never enjoyed the waiting.
Seconds, hours, so many days. You know what you want, but how long can you wait?
2 comments:
Waiting is the hardest thing to take. But only you know how much effort you put in. You've poured out your sweat, blood and tears for your audition tape. You've spent time at the studio, and lastly, you know how much you want this.
Most of the time, you get what you give. You gave a 110% effort, hence Auckland will give you the place. So don't worry too much about it. Sit back and relax.
Hard work with great passion towards it pays off. =)
when a piece of work has so much heart placed into it... who would have the heart to turn the creator of it away? :)
Post a Comment